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Wildlife? What wildlife? Pretty tame, so far

Thursday, June 17, 2010
Jun 17
6:12
AM ET

Posted by Luke Cyphers

PRETORIA, South Africa -- I've been hearing that those near and dear to me are experiencing the untamed adventure that is Africa, especially its regal wildlife. Jemele Hill saw hippos, Jeff Bradley saw warthogs, the U.S. soccer team twice had journeys slowed by elephants. How charming!

Not every visitor is so lucky. This reporter is on his second tour of duty (Confederations Cup last year, from which he still has a thousand-yard stare, and frostbite), and has seen signs at a hotel warning guests not to feed the baboons or monkeys, but not much else.

Here, then, is a tally of exotic fauna seen over the course of four weeks, total, on the continent:

Baboon: 0

Monkey: 0

Lion: 0

Elephant: 0

Zebra: 0

Cheetah: 0

Rhino: 0

Giraffe: 0

Water buffalo: 0

Kudu (or is it kudus? Because kudos is actually singular, and there's no such thing as a kudo, but that's kind of a digression, so sorry): 0

Puppy for sale by the side of the road: 1

Feral cat: 2 (bonus points for a good cat fight)

Shakira: 0 (TV doesn't count)

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