WORLD CUP
Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium, Port Elizabeth, South Africa
Attendance: 36007
* Local time based on your geographic location.
Watch Live on: ABC, MobileTV, ESPN 3D
COMPLETE TEAM
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Goal
Shot
Video
Goal
Shot
Video
Shots (on goal)
tackles
Fouls
possession
Uruguay
-
47%
53%
Germany
Uruguay
| Line-up | ||
|---|---|---|
| POS | No | Name |
G |
1 | Fernando Muslera |
D |
2 | Diego Lugano |
D |
3 | Diego Godín |
D |
4 | Jorge Fucile |
D |
22 | Martín Cáceres |
M |
15 | Diego Pérez |
| M | 5 | Walter Gargano |
M |
16 | Maxi Pereira |
M |
17 | Egidio Arévalo |
F |
7 | Edinson Cavani |
| F | 13 | Sebastián Abreu |
F |
9 | Luis Suárez |
F |
10 | Diego Forlán |
| Substitutes | ||
| POS | No | Name |
| G | 12 | Juan Castillo |
| G | 23 | Martín Silva |
| D | 6 | Mauricio Victorino |
| D | 11 | Álvaro Pereira |
| D | 19 | Andrés Scotti |
| M | 5 | Walter Gargano |
| M | 8 | Sebastián Eguren |
| M | 18 | Ignacio González |
| M | 20 | Álvaro Fernández |
| F | 13 | Sebastián Abreu |
| F | 21 | Seba Fernández |
Germany
| Line-up | ||
|---|---|---|
| POS | No | Name |
G |
22 | Hans-Jörg Butt |
D |
3 | Arne Friedrich |
D |
4 | Dennis Aogo |
D |
17 | Per Mertesacker |
D |
20 | Jerome Boateng |
M |
2 | Marcell Jansen |
| M | 18 | Toni Kroos |
M |
6 | Sami Khedira |
M |
7 | Bastian Schweinsteiger |
M |
13 | Thomas Müller |
F |
8 | Mesut Özil |
| D | 5 | Serdar Tasci |
F |
19 | Cacau |
| F | 9 | Stefan Kießling |
| Substitutes | ||
| POS | No | Name |
| G | 1 | Manuel Neuer |
| G | 12 | Tim Wiese |
| D | 5 | Serdar Tasci |
| D | 14 | Holger Badstuber |
| D | 16 | Philipp Lahm |
| M | 15 | Piotr Trochowski |
| M | 18 | Toni Kroos |
| M | 21 | Marko Marin |
| F | 9 | Stefan Kießling |
| F | 10 | Lukas Podolski |
| F | 11 | Miroslav Klose |
| F | 23 | Mario Gomez |
Match Stats
- Uruguay
- Germany
| 16(7) | Shots (on goal) | 18(7) |
| 13 | Fouls | 11 |
| 6 | Corner kicks | 12 |
| 2 | Offsides | 3 |
| 47% | Time of Possession | 53% |
| 1 | Yellow Cards | 3 |
| 0 | Red Cards | 0 |
| 4 | Saves | 4 |
Chris Jones: See you then. Can't wait.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: 1.30 eastern the GameCast starts!
JemeleHill: I think I need something a tad bit stronger
JemeleHill: Good night all. It's been fun!
Chris Jones: Good night! I need a hamburger.
Chris Jones: The Netherlands against Spain, here at Soccer City, 2:30 Eastern. We'll see you then.
Jeff Carlisle: See you tomorrow folks.
Chris Jones: Thanks again for joining us, everybody. One more kick at this can.
Chris Jones: Right on the middle of the bar, near the top left corner. Butt was there, but wow.
[Comment from Paul the Octopus]
So, who's buying the krill tonight?
Jeff Carlisle: Indeed. Both teams provided a lot of great moments.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: A stage is being brought onto the field to hand the Germans their bronze medals.
Chris Jones: Off the bar... Wow.
Chris Jones: Congratulations to the Germans -- and to La Celeste, for a great World Cup.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: That's the game, folks.
[Comment from Matt]
Germans always set up strong walls.
Chris Jones: Germany 3, Uruguay 2.
Chris Jones: Just like Gyan... Only different.
[Comment from mike]
devastating!
[Comment from The Luck of Suarez]
just ran out
Chris Jones: Off the bar, I can't believe it.
[Comment from Panchoooo]
OHHHH NOOOO!!!
Jeff Carlisle: WOW.
Chris Jones: What a game.
[Comment from Paul the Octopus]
Do octopi sweat? Because I am sweating...
Chris Jones: And that's the whistle!
Chris Jones: Oh, sugar.
Jeff Carlisle: OMG!
Chris Jones: Off the bar!
Chris Jones: The clump of players in front of the net... Looks impenetrable.
[Comment from It\'s the Hair]
over the wall, under the bar, nothing but net..
ESPN Stats and Information: The last time Germany came from behind to win at the World Cup when trailing in the second half came in 1998 in the Round of 16 against Mexico.
Jeff Carlisle: Forlan has to take this.
Chris Jones: Surely Forlan takes this...
Jeff Carlisle: Hold on folks.
Chris Jones: Suarez pulled down by Friedrich, who gets a yellow.
Chris Jones: Free kick to Uruguay just outside the box!
Chris Jones: One more Cover it Live tomorrow... Hope you'll see us off into the sunset.
[Comment from Suarez]
Next time, make a penalty kick.
[Comment from Uruguay]
It's not cheating when you can't make a penalty, Ghana.
[Comment from Ronaldo]
NO ONE WILL CATCH MY GOALS NOW!
Chris Jones: Almost over here...
[Comment from Ghana]
Suarez is a cheat! I'm glad he hasn't accomplished anything!
Chris Jones: Goal kick for Germany after Forlan can't keep it in.
Chris Jones: Two minutes of extra time.
JemeleHill: Chris: Dag, the body isn't even cold.
Chris Jones: Miami? (Sorry, dude. Too easy.)
Chris Jones: Suarez tried to do it all by himself and couldn't.
JemeleHill: Follow the octopus, Cleveland.
[Comment from Cleveland]
I want to cheer for a winner tomorrow (for once). Any suggestions?
Chris Jones: A shot of Klose just now. Sad to see him end his WC on the bench.
Chris Jones: Abreu in -- El Loco! Cavani out.
Chris Jones: Big chance there... Just didn't finish.
Chris Jones: Kiebling puts the ball over after a great cross from Boateng!
Chris Jones: Uruguay having a very hard time getting close to the German goal.
[Comment from France]
Don't scare me like that, Chris. Specify that you mean on the pitch.
ESPN Stats and Information: Germany would be just the second team in this tournament to win after trailing in the second half. (Netherlands over Brazil.)
[Comment from Germany]
With Mueller, Germany would have beaten Spain atleast 2-0 hands down. With him off the pitch, there was no one to create in the middle
[Comment from FIFA]
Chris, Mueller's supsension was right call -- all our calls are right calls.
Chris Jones: Long shot by Boateng stopped by Muslera easily.
Chris Jones: Germans attacking again.
Chris Jones: Long ball out of reach for Forlan.
[Comment from Chelsea (person, not place or team)]
Good choice, Jemele
Chris Jones: Suarez cross gets cleared.
Chris Jones: Uruguay trying to put something together.
[Comment from Netherlands]
If I win, I'm having Paul for dinner
Chris Jones: Five minutes left.
Chris Jones: Have to ask again... How big was Muller's suspension from the game against Spain?
[Comment from Leander\'s Mom]
Chris, Leander isn't stupid.....he is just Dutch
[Comment from Montana]
Guffaw. Awesome word choice.
[Comment from paul the octopus]
I predict a terrible death for myself
JemeleHill: No, I'm not soul-less. I went to Michigan State.
Chris Jones: D also at fault, Jeff. But Muslera can't just hang around on the line.
[Comment from VABuckeye]
Jemele didn't go to Big Blue did she?
[Comment from Lance]
Do we need to seperate you boys?
JemeleHill: Leander just made me guffaw. Well played.
Jeff Carlisle: Not sure I would pin that one on Muslera. Germany just was a little hungrier on that play than the Uruguayan defense.
Chris Jones: No problem, stupid.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Thanks, fatty.
Chris Jones: Sure thing.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Jones, you taking over?
[Comment from Spain]
Never. Paul, never
Chris Jones: Muslera again unsure what to do... Boy, he's had a bad game. Was just out of the play there.
JemeleHill: Matt: Exactly!
[Comment from Matt]
Jemele is a Michigander, so she's practically Canadian.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Ozil's corner fell to Khedira, who headed it into the top far corner over Muslera!
[Comment from Brian]
I think I just heard Uruguay's back breaking...
[Comment from Paul the Octopus]
Did you ever doubt me?
Jeff Carlisle: Khedira! The Jeff-Jinx strikes again!
JemeleHill: Chris: Oh, I meant that Canadians were the greatest people ever.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Germany!!!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: GOAL!!!!
Chris Jones: Your boss is Canadian, Jemele.
JemeleHill: We're still trying to figure that out, Tom
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Toni Kroos is off for Marcell Jansen, by the way.
[Comment from Tom]
Who let the Canadian in?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Speaking of misprints, Jonesy, do you want to take over a bit of play-by-play? I'll rejoin if it goes to extra time.
Chris Jones: But if it's not, then Canada lasted longer in the World Cup than the U.S. We're number one!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Boateng with a lovely cross to Kiessling, who won't ever be pulled over for speeding on a soccer field, which is a little far out in front of him.
Chris Jones: I thought that must have been a misprint Leander.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Would you look at that? The assistant is Canadian!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Yay for Mexico!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Credit to Benito Archundia here, he's whistling a very strong game.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Gargano with a long free kick but it was well over.
Jeff Carlisle: Indeed. As many injuries and suspensions Uruguay had to its backline, Perez helped keep things together defensively.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Diego Perez, it must be side, had a fantastic tournament.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Perez is off for Walter gargano.
Chris Jones: Hey, Muslera made a save! Awesome!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Kiessling with a great chance! But his shot is too close to Muslera.
[Comment from Stewie]
Great commentary, Leander. You're more random than a Family Guy cutaway
[Comment from C]
Leander with the family guy reference FTW, and here I was thinking the game cast couldn't get better.
[Comment from Peter Griffin]
thanks for the allusion to my show leander
Chris Jones: The Olympics weren't that long ago, America. Remember? A certain OT goal? By a certain Pittsburgh Penguin?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Germany wins a corner, which is headed away by Suarez.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Still, he gets up and sends Schweinsteiger into space on a lovely give-and-go.
[Comment from America]
The only sport Canada would win in is making maple syrup.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Ouch! Muller appears to get his wrist stepped on.
[Comment from Kipa]
I think Leander's going crazy.
[Comment from USA Hockey]
Sidney Crosby would be a great soccer player, he's a whiner and a diver
[Comment from Lance]
Worry about the Stanley cup before the world cup Canadian
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Tom Tucker: Thanks, Ollie.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Ollie: It's rainin'!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: And now to Ollie Williams for the weather report:
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Schweinsteiger's shot takes a big deflection for a second corner. That corner is headed away, but Germany keeps the ball.
[Comment from Canadian]
Give us a Hockey Stick to use with those Skates and we'll win the next world cup
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Another corner to germany.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Germany brings on Stefan Kiessling to relieve Cacau from his suffering.
[Comment from Brian]
Canada can't qualify since they keep trying to get 13 men on the pitch at the same time
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Actually, I slept in this morning. But never mind all that.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: World Cup fatigue.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Germany does, sorry.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Uruguay wins a corner with 20 or so minutes on the clock.
[Comment from Yank]
Every time you Canucks kick the ball with those skates on, it goes flat...
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Cacau gets a shot off but doesn't have the time to let it bounce low enough for the shot to go on target.
[Comment from JJ]
It's not the size of the country, it's the motion of the ... boot
[Comment from Brian]
In comparison, the US should have done 16 times better than the Netherlands
Chris Jones: 30-some million. Enough that we should qualify for the World Cup, anyway.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Caceres stamps on Muller! How dare he besmirch the ankle of someone with actual talent!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I must say, Paul has never picked the underdog. It's easy to make predictions when you always go with the favorite.
[Comment from American]
How many people are there in Canada?
[Comment from Spain]
Would like to formally extend political asylum to Paul the Octopus
Leander Schaerlaeckens: 16.7, stupid.
Chris Jones: The Netherlands have 16 million people. Uruguay, 3 million.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Jansen cuts in and takes a shot that goes wide, but he raises his hand to apologize to his comrades and all is well again in the Land of Germany.
[Comment from Alex]
Chris, then you must be astounded that the Netherlands made it so far.
[Comment from Chris and Uruguay]
Get a room!
[Comment from china]
I don't want to hear about country size dictating soccer goals
Jeff Carlisle: Not his best game. Don't know why he's the one going forward and not Schweinsteiger.
[Comment from Paul the Octopus]
If Uruguay wins, I'mma get wasabi'ed.
[Comment from JD]
Is it just me or does Sami Khedira look awful in comparison to the rest of the german players
Chris Jones: Fourth would be fantastic for Uruguay, too. Let's remember -- they're the same size as New Zealand. It's ridiculous that they do as well in soccer as they do.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Looking up and seeing that ball launch into orbit, by the way, made me realize it's stopped raining.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: It sails to Suarez at the end of the box, but his shot is skied.
[Comment from Hamby]
Leander... that's because Germany's WC is already a disappointment to them. Winning 3rd means nothing in Germany. Winning 3rd would be a great tournament for Uruguay.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Forlan with the 13th corner of this game.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: It took a late move from Schweinsteiger to cut off the chance to shoot.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Suarez flits his way through the defense and wins a corner.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Muller with a shot from distance. But Muslera's divine white threads needn't move towards it, as it was wide.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Uruguay really wants to win this game. Germany, I get the sense, feels like it can't go home having lost it.
[Comment from Brian]
Butt was just too big, there. Like Chris
Leander Schaerlaeckens: He was one-on-one with Butt but the latter made a nice save!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Forlan almost!
Chris Jones: The Cavani goal, maybe. The Forlan goal, not a chance.
ESPN Stats and Information: Forlán now has 29 career goals, alone in 2nd on Uruguay's all-time list, 2 behind Hector Scarone.
[Comment from Ted]
Chris do you think Neuer would have stopped those goals
[Comment from Klose]
Put me in coach, I'm ready to play
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I don't think he intentionally played it back to him.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Borderline, I'd say.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: We are looking at 30 more minutes of high-class action while the Germans appear for a penalty after Muslera picks up a ball played to him by a sliding defender.
[Comment from kevin]
Forlan's goal was amazing mostly because of the look on the keeper's face
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Spectacular bicycle kick by Godin to clear a German cross. At the other end, Suarez sent a roaring shot to Butt, who answered with a roaring save.
Chris Jones: How about Abreu's penalty shot? So sweet.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Open net, man. Van Bronckhorst beat the keeper, AND hit the top corner!
Chris Jones: I kind of dig Villa's 40 yarder.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: No argument will I tolerate on that.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I'm gonna have to call your Forlan and raise you a Gio van Bronckhorst.
Chris Jones: If only they weren't playing in a bog.
[Comment from Cacau]
Coach can you please sub me out?
Jeff Carlisle: True that, Leander.
JemeleHill: that one against ghana was stellar as well
Leander Schaerlaeckens: This is a great bit of spectacle!
[Comment from farzad]
forlan goal was the best goal ive seen in this worldcup
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Or indeed all games, period!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I still feel good about my 4-2 Germany prediction.
Jeff Carlisle: This is turning into a track meet, which is frankly the way all third place games should be.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: What a great game this is!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Suarez gets a shot off in the box with Forlan feeding him but his shot is blocked. Germany immediately tears off to the other end.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Cacau went on a long run and managed to hold onto it and play it to Ozil to his left who had 10 yards to go but made it far too complicated and eventually gave Uruguay a chance to clear it away from him.
Jeff Carlisle: I will add that Khedira has been pushing forward a lot, which explains why Germany has been looking vulnerable on the counter.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Ozil with the greatest of chances!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Why the Germans feel aggrieved -- or anybody does for that matter -- I know not.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Suarez getting savage boos now. They get stronger with each of his touches.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: A great cross from Boateng to the second post where Jansen stood still headed it in as Uruguayan fists and heads sailed everywhere but towards the ball.
Chris Jones: I told you. He'll be better when he's 14. But seriously... not good.
Jeff Carlisle: Muslera, not having the best of nights.
[Comment from Sireniya]
Yep, this game just got MAD-CRAZY!!
JemeleHill: Kudos to all of you who saw this as a high-scoring affair.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: The crows is a whole lot happier than the Germans themselves.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Marcell Jansen on the header!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: 2-2!!!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: GOAL!!!
Chris Jones: Stats, my precious little unicorn... Muller still leading the Golden Boot based on assists? Or is Forlan in with it now?
[Comment from THE DIEGO SHOW]
paul the octopus who is your daddy...
[Comment from Shirely]
I take back my journalist comment with profound apologies.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: This is turning kick-and-rushie.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Anyway, this game has kicked up a grear and Germany is now pressing at the other end.
ESPN Stats and Information: Germany has not lost a game at this World Cup when holding a lead in the match. (4 wins)
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Esquire doesn't employ journalists, Shirely. They employ philosopher kings who opt to exercise with the written word.
[Comment from Don]
Where's STATS to put a damper on the comeback chances?
Chris Jones: No, it's my love of Uruguay that knows no bounds. And who are you calling a journalist? Fat's one thing. But a journalist...
[Comment from Shirely]
Is Chris hatin' on Germany because what they did to England? I thought journalists are supposed to be neutral.
[Comment from Irishknight]
The Germany team looks like their all in shock!
[Comment from Sasha the Psychic]
To Paul: Yes it is.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Schweinsteiger did well to play Jansen into space on the German break, but he was tackled by Fucile.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Forlan to take the corner now.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Uruguay wins a corner after a long shot from Forlan is blocked.
[Comment from Stephen]
outstanding
[Comment from Paul the Octopus]
that's not supposed to happen...
Jeff Carlisle: Great ball by Egidio Arevalo. Germany pays for Cacau's inability to hold the ball up. Magnificent finish by Forlan.
[Comment from KSB]
Amazing shot.
JemeleHill: He froze Butt (no jokes please)
Chris Jones: I believe we now have a four-way tie for the Golden Boot. Stats?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: He scissor kicks a waist-high ball into the back of the net on a bounce that completely wrong-foots Butt!!
Chris Jones: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (PART II)!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: DIEGO FORLAM!!!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: WHAT A GOAL!!!!!
[Comment from Leighann]
Leander: Your "but Butt"s are killing me. lol
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Germany spends a little quality time outside of Uruguay's box but gets no real shot off, none other than Khedira's, which is blocked, anyway.
[Comment from Da Weef]
Chris, that's what I said
Chris Jones: Think it was going wide anyway.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Cavani was played into space but Butt did a good job of making himself big on the last-gasp effort. Suarez pounded the rebound, but Butt got a fist to it.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Uruguay close!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Khedira loses it just on the top of the box after the corner comes to nothing.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Schweinsteiger with a corner.
Chris Jones: I predict... never mind.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Second half has interrupted our lovely chat.
[Comment from Oh Lord]
Chris, you re-produced? God help us all!
[Comment from US Customs Agent]
Chris, you better declare those jewels!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: So I've either given away my surprise if she's reading anyway, made you look bad or both.
[Comment from Delta]
Cofirmed return flight for Chris Jones requires advanced purchase of two seats
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Did you really? Because I did. My wife isn't reading this because she's recovering from neck surgery.
[Comment from Kipa]
Uh oh. Trouble in paradise, Chris.
Chris Jones: I bought you jewels.
[Comment from Da Weef]
36 days with the young'uns all alone. Yeah.. you had better be scared...
Leander Schaerlaeckens: We came back and suddenly women had careers and their own professional sports leagues.
JemeleHill: We're also allowed to work and go to college, news
Leander Schaerlaeckens: We really have been away for a long time, news.
[Comment from Chris\' tongue]
Jemele said "glazed"...mmm, donuts
[Comment from news]
What.... women can vote?
Chris Jones: Um, I haven't been home for a long time. I'm going to drop this whole conversation, so she doesn't change the locks.
[Comment from KSB]
Chris, was it smart to marry you?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Can she drive and vote and everything?
JemeleHill: You guys are making my eyes glaze over
Jeff Carlisle: Me, the unilingualist.
Chris Jones: You know, apart from her decision to marry me, my wife's pretty smart. For a girl.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Go with Ferme ta geule, next time, Chris. It's much less polite.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Who cares about soccer at a time of crisis such as this one?
Chris Jones: Ruh-roh.
ESPN Stats and Information: The two teams have combined to score 13 second-half goals in the tournament and Germany has allowed only 1 after halftime (the goal that eliminated the side against Spain in the semi-final.)
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Uh-oh. I just discovered that I'm not only going to get my rear kicked by Mrs. Jones for calling her Mrs. Jones, but that I've also let Chris -- and, much worse, myself down -- Wikipedia says it's "aigu" too... And if you can't trust Wikipedia...
[Comment from It\'s the Hair]
Thanks for noticing Jeff
Chris Jones: Ferme ta bouche, Jeff.
[Comment from Canadians]
We are not contrarians -- We are rebels against authority.
Jeff Carlisle: Hate to interrupt the language class, but looking at the replay of Urugyay's goal, great diagonal run by Forlan to create confusion in the German backline, and space for Cavani. Nicely done.
[Comment from Da Weef]
Merci, Monsieur Multi-langues
Chris Jones: That's why the accent exists? I had no idea.
[Comment from Freddie Edu]
That was the closest I came to be mentioned in this world cup...
Leander Schaerlaeckens: The whole point of égu is that it has the accent on it that it describes.
[Comment from Da Weef]
Thank YOU!
[Comment from Carma]
this is why Spanish is better: one kind of accent.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Perhaps in weirdo Canadian French it's spelled differently. Wouldn't surprise me. Contrarians.
[Comment from Parts Counter]
Domestic dispute odds: Mrs Jones -445 Mr Jones
[Comment from Another Canadian]
It's accent aigu. Egu is an accentless African bird.
[Comment from Stepped away for a minute]
I thought we were talking about Chris' girth not birth
[Comment from Tim]
Sorry, I didn't mean to start a language class. Or a domestic dispute.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: It's égu.
Chris Jones: Eat it, wife!
Chris Jones: That's never happened!
Chris Jones: Bang! Leander on my side!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Gonna have to side with Mr. Jones here. Took 12 years of French.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Sorry, Mrs. Jones, but that's not how it's spelled.
Chris Jones: My wife, everybody. The love is strong.
[Comment from Da Weef]
That's rich coming from the mis-speller of "accent aigu".
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I don't believe in the E behind the umlaubtless letter. If you can't use an umlaubt, don't add an extra letter just for the hell of it.
[Comment from Paul]
Seeing as it's a figment - I actually think it's BIRTH
Chris Jones: Berth. And shut up.
[Comment from Paul]
Canadian figments include a world cup birth!
[Comment from at tim]
You lost chris at Figs....yum...
Chris Jones: The accent egu. Doesn't exist.
[Comment from Tim]
Chris, are there any figments of Canadian punctuation?
Chris Jones: ENOUGH WITH THE FAT.... Wait, never mind.
[Comment from djpatch28]
Forlan has more than earned himself a fat contract from some club after his total cup performance
Chris Jones: Depends if you believe in umlauts. I don't. I think they're a figment of German punctuation.
[Comment from Curious George]
Leander, is it Muller or Mueller? Explain
Jeff Carlisle: Germany dominated the early exchanges, but Uruguay started pressing a bit higher up the field , especially on Schweinsteigner, and started winning the ball closer to goal. Interesting change there.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Nobody. This was rather evenly matched, I'd say.
[Comment from thomas8585]
Who would you say dominates this half?
Chris Jones: Not sure they can get wetter, Leander.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Considering how hard, yet slow, it's raining, the players really aren't hustling in very quickly.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Half-time.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Cacau almost got the ball on the run on a bad hop from the defender but it was made into a corner.
Chris Jones: You wouldn't celebrate, ak, when your team had been saved from almost certain doom? Of course he celebrated.
[Comment from ak]
@chris. Ian on the tube keeps saying the same thing, but come on now, it was the celebrations not the handball itself
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Forlan's corner swings in dangerously and goes just over the cross bar, almost surprising Butt!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Forlan got the run going, played it off to Pereira but Boateng played it off him for a corner.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Muslera grabs, fumbles it and then it's hoofed away.
Chris Jones: No, Kipa, I don't. At that point, Ghana was the only hope Africa had left. Too bad Gyan couldn't hit a penalty shot.
[Comment from Kipa]
Chris do you think Suarez gets booed, or the angst he's gotten, if he had done it against a non-African team?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: The corner is played behind. Second corner.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Valid excuse?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: It's actually raining so densely that it's hard to see some parts of the field.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Never mind that, it was headed away, the replay teaches me.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: SchweinsteigerSchweinsteigerSchweinsteiger takes it, but sends it well over the bar.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I've never seen rain fall this slow.
[Comment from Steve]
That's not tears, that's Chris sweating out of his eyes
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Free kick to Germany now from 25 or so yards.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I'm really rather glad I'm in the cozy confines of the press box, nestled right underneath the stadium's non-leaking roof.
Chris Jones: Suarez getting booed for the Ghanaian hand ball is ridiculous by the way. Every player in this tournament would have done the same thing.
Chris Jones: So close!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Suarez again on the run on a nice ball by Forlan but he misses the far post by inches. Cavani is annoyed he didn't get it but really wasn't open.
[Comment from Joel]
Thats not rain thats falling thats Chris's tears.
JemeleHill: Just a bit outside...
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Fucile attempts a cross to Suarez in the box, but Suarez can't get to it and for a change doesn't try to sneak off with a penalty.
Jeff Carlisle: Uruguay winning just about every loose ball right now.
[Comment from Sireniya]
Possibly, Arena Roof for Comment of the Day...
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Forlan and Suarez break away, but Forlan waits way too long to play it to his pal.
[Comment from Arena roof]
Chris, may we borrow your pants?
[Comment from Longest arms in the world]
I hope it's chicken cause I don't fit around Chris.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Nope.
Chris Jones: Aogo just slid about 60 feet. I believe it's quite wet on the field.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: SchweinsteigerSchweinsteigerSchweinsteiger with a bad ball across to Aogo.
[Comment from ]
Leander, are you a meteorologist?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: And KFC is everywhere here.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Turn to Jeff for the hug.
Chris Jones: Both?
[Comment from John]
Does chris need a hug or a bucket of chicken?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: It's a very misty type of rain here. Must be that Indian Ocean front or something. (Did that sound like I knew what I was talking about?)
JemeleHill: Leander with the snipe!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: They've stopped making Hummers. Maybe he could jump into that void.
ESPN Stats and Information: Germany has already taken more shots in the match than it managed against Spain in the semifinal.
JemeleHill: My goodness, he's not a Hummer
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Ozil with a superb fake out to work his way into the box, but Cacau had no use for it.
[Comment from Am I Wrong?]
I'm picturing Chris as 5'6" 360? close? way off?
[Comment from Fred]
Who gets more love...Chris in Paraguay or LeBron in Cleveland?
[Comment from AJ]
Chris is so fat, he fell in love and broke it.
[Comment from Paraguay]
Yo quiero Chris fatty jokes!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Hmm.
[Comment from Referendum]
Yes.
[Comment from alabama]
leander, i like it
JemeleHill: I am extremely impressed with these fat jokes. Such creativity and variation.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Should I stop doing that? Referendum.
[Comment from Timmy]
Chris is so fat people thought a truck waas backing up when his cell phone rang
[Comment from Michael Moore]
Even I think Chris is fat...
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Bad touch. Goal kick.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: And as I wrote that SchweinsteigerSchweinsteigerSchweinsteiger played Ozil into space.
[Comment from Earth\'s Equator]
Can Chris give my belt back
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Ugh, the section in front of me tries to get another wave going. But each time the wave does the rounds, this game turns putrid.
[Comment from Chris\'s mom]
i love you chris, even if you are a lard
[Comment from Space]
I'm not as endless as Chris
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Still raining in front of me, my little screen lets me know.
[Comment from 3rd Place is for losers]
golden boot? golden grahams more like it
[Comment from Chris\'s Self Esteem]
I hear your comments...and it hurts.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Comes to nothing.
[Comment from NASA]
Chris can be seen from outer space
Chris Jones: Let's concentrate on how awesome Uruguay is, shall we?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Caceres wins a rejuvenated Uruguay a corner!
[Comment from 2nd string]
Chris was hoping for the Golden boot award, but his kankles DQ'd him.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: SchweinsteigerSchweinsteigerSchweinsteiger to Ozil in promising position, but Fucile makes a superb sliding tackle and holds onto the ball.
[Comment from Captain Obvious]
if chris were green with white stripes, he'd be the field...
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Chris just has a lot of earmarks written into his bill, that's all.
[Comment from The Field]
Make Chris leave...he is hurting my back!
[Comment from Leander Schaerlaeckens]
haha! chris on a field! hahaha!
[Comment from fat chris]
im only 566 jemelllll
[Comment from baka]
Chris is not fat, he is fluffy
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Rastafarraaaaaaaaay
[Comment from To Jake]
Was he covering the whole field? Like an Umbrella?
JemeleHill: Just as they imagine Leander with a Jamaican accent, they imagine Chris to be 567 pounds
Chris Jones: Muslera has looked a little tentative. He'll probably be better when he turns 14.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Ozil is out on the left but his ball doesn't reach Cacau.
[Comment from Jake]
You guys just don't know, Chris is in great shape! I've seen him on the field before
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Too soon for a joke on early goals?
[Comment from Mike]
Chris is so fat, he has his own gravitational pull
ESPN Stats and Information: Cavani's goal was the first Germany has allowed in the first half hour at this World Cup.
[Comment from Paraguay]
What? My 'guay' isn't good enough for you Chris?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Cavani meanwhile gets the ball in the box, turns, but can't position himself for a shot before losing it.
[Comment from Bizarro Chris]
In my world, I'm a Brad Pitt clone
Leander Schaerlaeckens: SchweinsteigerSchweinsteigerSchweinsteiger tries to get a breakaway going but playes it too late for Khedira.
[Comment from personal trainer]
chris is so fat, people run around him for exercise
[Comment from Paraguay]
I yhought I was the only Guay for you? Now I hate you even more!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I hear Montevideo is lovely this time of the game.
Chris Jones: Oh, to be in Montevideo right now.
JemeleHill: Chris has a man crush on Uruguay http://soccernet.espn.go.com/world-cup/columns/story/_/id/5367064/ce/us/preview-third-place-game?cc=3888&ver=us
[Comment from fat chris]
if that was chris's butt he would have saved it
Jeff Carlisle: Schweinsteiger does his Ricardo Clark impression, get's stripped by Diego Perez, sparking the counterattack.
[Comment from Lars]
You could at least disguise your love for Uruguay, Chris!
Chris Jones: Cavani, not Leander, I mean. Clearly.
[Comment from Paul the Octopii]
Well then....
[Comment from Uruguay]
YES!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Sorry.
Chris Jones: Great finish.
[Comment from Johany]
SUAREZ MADE THAT HAPPEN!!!!!!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Perez won it from Schweinsteiger, played it on to Suarez, who played Cavani into space with a perfectly measured ball. Cavani had but to sweep it under Butt's butt.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Edinson Cavani makes it 1-1!
Chris Jones: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: What a splendid breakaway!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: URUGUAY!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: GOAL!!!
[Comment from Captain Obvious]
chris is so fat, when he sat on a quarter blood shot out of Washington's nose...
[Comment from Captain Obvious]
chris is so fat, they took his press photo last month and it's still printing...
[Comment from Jake]
Chris is the perfect size. He's fun size!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Muller gets a great breakaway going, plays it through to Jansen on the left whose cross goes just over when Khedira heads it.
Chris Jones: Son of a...
[Comment from ESPN Stats]
And Chris Jones will hold on to the golden ice cream bucket for fattest commentator
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Cavani with a lovely backheel on the corner, but it's blocked too.
Chris Jones: I agree with Kyle for once.
Jeff Carlisle: Great defending there by Mertesacker on Forlan's header.
[Comment from Kyle]
No no no... Lets not start with the Chris jokes please!
[Comment from Cartman]
Chris is not fat, he's big boned
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Suarez takes a shot on a quick turn, it is blocked and Forlan almost gets to the header but it's played out for a corner.
[Comment from Copy/Paste]
SchaerlaeckensSchaerlaeckensSchaerlaeckensSchaerlaeckensSchaerlaeckens
Chris Jones: I wish it went to PKs in the event of a tie. That would be awesome.
[Comment from Fat]
Hi, my real name is Chris
[Comment from Cam]
Chris is just husky
ESPN Stats and Information: If results hold, Thomas Müller will win the Golden Boot over Villa (ESP)/Sneidjer (NED) based on more assists.
Jeff Carlisle: Germany are just playing to quickly through midfield for Uruguay. Surprising given how well Uruguay have closed teams down in this tournament. Then again, it is the third place game.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Chris is fat! Haha!
Chris Jones: My wife has written them all down, I think.
JemeleHill: 3...2...1
Leander Schaerlaeckens: SchweinsteigerSchweinsteigerSchweinsteiger on the ball.
[Comment from billy bob]
where are all the chris fat jokes?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Muller wrestles off his man long enough to play it to Ozil, who finds Jansen on the left, but his cross skips to Muslera.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Khedira is put through into space on a nice touch by Muller, I believe, but his unselfish cutback is to nobody.
[Comment from daniel]
i think leander needs to get out more
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Uruguay counters on Germany, but Die Mannschaft closes the net well and collects it off a bad touch by Forlan.
[Comment from Insightful]
Amazing how different Germany plays with Mueller on the pitch
ESPN Stats and Information: In its record 99th World Cup match, Germany scores the opening goal for the 60th time.
Chris Jones: Leander has spent too much time alone.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Corner headed away.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: SchweinsteigerSchweinsteigerSchweinsteigerSchweinsteigerSchweinsteigerSchweinsteiger
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Can you tell I have his name on copy-paste?
[Comment from Paul the Octopus]
*twirls tentacles*
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Schweinsteiger behind it.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Ozil wins a corner with a deft little run on the left.
[Comment from Craig]
Chirs, call one in another 30 seconds so we'll have another before half.
[Comment from Whatev]
The Germans really could've used Muller in the semis.
Jeff Carlisle: Looking at the replay, it looked Muslera saved the first shot with his knee. No wonder the rebound went straight out in front.
[Comment from Mueller\'s boots]
Enshrine Me!
Chris Jones: Muslera misjudged that ball. Went off his legs rather than his hands...
[Comment from lucky in kentucky]
great shot, great follow up by muller for the garbage goal
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Tying him for the lead in this World Cup.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: That's five goals for Muller!
[Comment from woodwork]
finally!!!
[Comment from Leighann]
Woo Hoo!! Go Germany!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: 1-0 Germany.
Chris Jones: That rebound was not good.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Schweinsteiger with a savage shot from distance which bounces back and falls to Muller's feet. He wasn't offside. Count it!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: GOAL!!!
Chris Jones: It's creating a vortex.
[Comment from Kipa]
Wikipedia says "Mexican wave" is simply a British term for what Americans call simply "the wave"
Leander Schaerlaeckens: As the crowd gets more animated, the players get less so. This game is slowing down as the wave speeds up frantically.
Chris Jones: May love shine on the bride and groom. And I hope they get some nice presents. Like maybe some tableware.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: But can they get the double wave going? One in each direction? Therein lie the true skill.
[Comment from Standing Ovation]
Thanks for the laughs and good times. Gotta run to wedding. See you all in 4 years!
[Comment from mickey b!]
could you define a mexican wave?
[Comment from Starcade]
Leander: What do you expect: It's the third place match.
[Comment from Beer]
Im making this game more interesting
Leander Schaerlaeckens: There's a good game on here, but people are far more into the Mexican wave going 'round and 'round.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Uruguay builds a nice attack, but a Cavani cross sails over everybody.
[Comment from Lance]
Wow, what's up with Germany??
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Cavani with a clownish attempt to clear (unintentional humor), but Uruguay is on the break none the less, until Cavani plays it straight into Mertesacker.
[Comment from Post me please]
4 weeks and no action, just one for the skipper please!
[Comment from Fate]
I am with Germany
[Comment from Tim]
So that's how the octopus gets it right - he Game Casts!
[Comment from Luck]
I am with Uruguay
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Total flop by Fucile even though he was already past his man.
[Comment from 5 second lag]
I'm annoying everyone today
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Uruguay still with the ball as Suarez gets what I think must be his first touch of the game.
JemeleHill: we're here to serve you, eric. but cut us some of the action, will ya?
[Comment from eric]
Your Commenthaha i just bet my bro it would go off the bar because of this, he owes me 5 bucks now
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Very deep throw-in for Uruguay.
Chris Jones: Of course, 12 of those goals came in three games.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I'll stop giving things away when I get a Facebook page, how's that?
ESPN Stats and Information: With 13 goals, Germany is the highest-scoring team at this World Cup so far.
[Comment from Crossbar]
I've been getting so much action, all to save Uruguay.
Chris Jones: Stop listening to the radio.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: It sailed high and to Friedrich's head at the second post, who headed it away from him and onto the bar.
[Comment from ES in America]
There is a lag on the radio broadcast. Stop giving everything away before I hear it?
[Comment from Jack Phillps]
Germany is going to score in the next 5 minutes.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Off the bar!
Chris Jones: Pitch doesn't look to be in great condition in the box.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Germany keeps it in and is still on the attack. Smacked away for a corner.
[Comment from Paul the Octopus]
I was a little anxious during the Spain game.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Headed away by a diving Lugano.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Corner for Schweinsteiger.
[Comment from Chris\'s Pants]
I hate when hes anxious
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Germany is on the counter-attack after Uruguay tried to advance the other way (duh, Leander...) but I was distracted by a steward confiscating a balloon from a fan and popping it! Oh, the injustice.
[Comment from Kipa]
The word is "hungry" not "anxious"
[Comment from Matt]
He's Canadian
Chris Jones: I'm always a little anxious.
[Comment from Hello]
Chris seems a little anxious...
[Comment from Sonny Corleone]
I made out better at the toll booth than Aogo did with that tackle
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Cavani with a nice bit of trickery, playing the ball with one leg swinging behind the other, but it went straight into an opponent.
Chris Jones: Didn't miss by much.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Curled it at the top left corner and it sailed just wide and over.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Good attempt.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Just over!
[Comment from Leighann]
Chris, Chris, Chris....haven't you learned yet not to make these silly predictions?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Shooing all others away...
[Comment from Fred]
Forlan will sink this one in.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Forlan now from 20 yards.
Chris Jones: I meant this next 30 seconds.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Cacau had flung his fist in the air. Good call.
[Comment from It\'s the Hair]
thanks for the Jinx Jones
[Comment from German team]
Our goal is to finish with 8 players
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Into the wall. Handball on the block though. Another free kick, from a little closer this time.
JemeleHill: So does that mean it won't happen?
Jeff Carlisle: I thought it was a low blow from Aogo.
Chris Jones: I see a goal in the next 30 seconds.
[Comment from Captain Obvious]
that was a no no from aogo
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Forlan now with a free kick from 30 or so yards.
[Comment from Starcade]
And a card for dissent or handball...
[Comment from Ouch]
That's gotta hurt.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Yeah, there had been an offsides before Germany scored.
Jeff Carlisle: That was nasty by Aogo. Welcome to the game, Diego Perez.
Chris Jones: Aogo might have deserved a red there... Jeebers, that was brutal in a third-place game.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Dennis Aogo sails straight into the leg of Perez, stud up and gets a yellow.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Either way, Germany firmly in control.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: More on that as this story breaks.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Actually, I think it might have been a handball, I'm not sure.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Offsides.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Germany gets a goal disallowed!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Headed away.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Long free kick to Schweinie.
Chris Jones: I don't know what you're talking abutt...
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Can't make calamari from octopus! Only from squid.
[Comment from Kipa]
Chris, how much are you restraining yourself from making jokes that contain the starting German GK's name?
Chris Jones: Don't you have a booger to eat?
[Comment from Coach Loew]
Please pass the calamari
Chris Jones: That's Butt? Awesome.
Jeff Carlisle: For those interested, there is a hilarious video of German keeper Jan-Jorg Butt scoring a penalty for Hamburg back in the day. He proceeds to go on walkabout high-fiving all of his teammates, only to be chipped from the ensuing kick-off while standing near the center circle. High quality stuff.
Chris Jones: The Germans looking terrifying in their terrifying black.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: First Uruguay with a bit of possession and now Germany.
[Comment from The German]
It's an octopus, not a bull.
[Comment from mickey b!]
paul. technically, it's octopii
[Comment from Marine Biologist]
The Octopus just picks the flag with the most red on it.
[Comment from Paul the Octopus]
We octopuses dont have a good sense of direction, anyways
Leander Schaerlaeckens: And they do so successfully, the first hurdle to an adequate soccer game cleared.
Chris Jones: Even my lovely wife is on the Uruguay train. It's a family affair. Go Uruguay!
[Comment from octostats]
Chris is jealous - when you compare records you see why
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Uruguay to kick off.
[Comment from Da Weef]
I could just cry at how much I love Uruguay. Love-fest indeed.
[Comment from Paul the Octopus]
Your left.
Chris Jones: My left or your left?
[Comment from Paul the Octopus]
I picked Germany on the LEFT SIDE versus England, Chris
Leander Schaerlaeckens: This is the LoveCast after all. Or was it CoverItLove?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Germany exchanges hugs. Uruguay does too. Love for everyone!
JemeleHill: If it does, I'm just going to direct them to Chris' Paraguay column to take the heat off me.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Just had another World Cup goosebumps moment seeing an entire section of Uruguayan fans in front of me belt out the anthem at the top of their lungs. I don't know another country that sings along so passionately at soccer games.
ESPN Stats and Information: The last seven Third-Place matches have been won by European teams.
Chris Jones: The octopus, I've been told, has always picked the right-hand box. It's rigged.
[Comment from Steve Irwin]
Crikey!! Ozil is part chameleon!!
Jeff Carlisle: Let the hate mail commence.
[Comment from Ozil]
Chris - that's because I have buggier eyes than Peter Lorre
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Oh, now you've done it, Jemele.
Chris Jones: I would love to be in Montevideo when these boys get back there.
[Comment from Paraguay]
South American countries are pretty easily insulted
ESPN Stats and Information: Paul the Octopus has correctly determined the outcome of every Germany match (including an upset loss to Serbia) at this World Cup. It was again called upon and selected Germany to win this match.
[Comment from Uruguay]
Its always a party here
Chris Jones: I think Ozil probably has better peripheral vision than the average player.
[Comment from The German]
I was more thinking figure skating than street carnival.
[Comment from Napolean]
Short man complex: we get picked on, last picked on teams, so we overcompensate by taking over the world
JemeleHill: I don't mean to insult the fine people of Uruguay, but their anthem sounds like something I'd hear at a street carnival
Chris Jones: I think Leander spent this afternoon in a Dutch cafe.
JemeleHill: Wow, Leander, is that your Dan Gilbert moment? LOL
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Ok, now we do anthems.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: No, wait, first his highness, king of soccer, Sepp Blatter has to be introduced to every single player by the captains. He's tiny by the way. That explains a lot. I have an inbuilt mistrust of short people. Maybe it's because I'm Dutch and we've only ever been invaded by countries that are shorter on average than we are (...since we're the tallest on average in the world.)
[Comment from Jabulani]
Guys, guys...everything is MY fault. Remember?
Chris Jones: I didn't call you stupid. I said I thought you were stupid. Difference, stupid.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Let's do some anthems or something here. Mix it up a little.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: And he calls me stupid...
[Comment from Mick Jagger]
Maybe they should blame you instead of me Chris
Chris Jones: Yeah, I thought the U.S. was going to the semis. Sorry about that.
[Comment from Craig]
Why didn't you pick Ghana over the US, then, Chris?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: That's what he's here for, Jeff. To make all of us look a little more competent.
JemeleHill: Classy: I play hard to get. Sorry.
Chris Jones: The Car-lizzel jinx is strong, too.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Ha! I just looked over at the TV screen to my right and realized it was raining right in front of me!
Jeff Carlisle: I love it when Chris takes the blame for something we both did.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Please pick Spain for the final then.
Chris Jones: The only game I've picked right, pretty much, was the Netherlands over Uruguay. I've been a total curse.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: The flags are out!
[Comment from Chris Jones made Germany lose]
Can I just say one more time Chris Jones prediciting German to beat Spain was the kiss of death
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Press box is half-empty tonight. Kinda nice.
[Comment from Classy in San Diego]
yes that was my 5 or 6th post... Jemele you're smart and beautiful
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I was in another town, clear across the country.
Chris Jones: There was talk that he was injured, Paul, but he was diving all over the place in training tonight.
[Comment from Paul]
Chris Stecklenburg got torched by a very playable shot by Forlan! Or did I miss something?
[Comment from Classy in San Diego]
you couldn't get a ticket Leander?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Merry Christmas, Intern.
[Comment from The Intern]
I've been posted twice this WC, hat trick?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Really.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: No pun intended.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: My wireless connection in my hotel room in Cape Town crapped out.
[Comment from ATrain]
Leander! Where did you wander off to Wedneday? We all thought you had been kidnapped by Chris's pants.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Which is funny, since this one has more egos in it than any before it. Van Marwijk has done masterfully what it is he was hired to do: keep the peace.
Chris Jones: Also, Stekelenburg looked fine.
Chris Jones: Lots of laughter, competitive but good spirit... A nice change from past Dutch teams. This one seems very close.
[Comment from HupHolland]
Nice to hear that Chris about Dutch training session
JemeleHill: You can!
[Comment from You]
Hey How come I can't comment?
Chris Jones: Gone too soon, my friend. Gone too soon.
[Comment from Kipa]
By the way, Chris, I enjoyed Andy Richter Controls the Universe too.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Stupidity cloaked in misused big words.
Chris Jones: *blush*
Leander Schaerlaeckens: And thanks for the nice words in the blog... You were right the first time. I am stupid.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Compliment accepted, thank you, Chris.
Chris Jones: Went to the Dutch training session at Soccer City tonight, by the way. We all agreed they looked very relaxed, confident, loose.
Jeff Carlisle: Suarez. It's too easy to focus on Forlan otherwise.
[Comment from Kobe]
I wish LeBron had been in the Write the Future commercial. Then he would be cursed.
[Comment from MVP]
Who's more important to their team--Suarez or Mueller?
JemeleHill: I see several hundred comments in your future
Chris Jones: Smooth, mickey. Smooooooooooooth.
[Comment from mickey b!]
ahh. the most beautiful sports journalist around!! =o)
JemeleHill: Chris: I'm just going to pretend you didn't say that.
JemeleHill: That would be me :)
[Comment from mickey b!]
who's viewing the comments today so i know who to flatter with my witty banter?
ESPN Stats and Information: There have been at least 3 goals scored in every Third-Place match since 1978 with 33 goals in those 8 matches.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I assure you, Joe. That is my real name. What kind of name is joe anyway?
Chris Jones: True story: I was Boomer the Parks Canada beaver. My now wife was my supposed "handler." That's how we met.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I haven't seen Da Weef around these parts since I referred to her as Mrs. Jones. I think she's still in therapy.
[Comment from joe]
is that a serious name or a joke ? Leander Schaerlaeckens
[Comment from Kipa]
Cover It Love is where Chris met Da Weef.
JemeleHill: I believe you have to be 18 & up to view it
Chris Jones: Yeah, that's a totally different site.
Jeff Carlisle: Cover it Love? I sense a cottage industry forming.
Chris Jones: It's good to get that out of the way early.
[Comment from Grammar Police]
You already blew your new perfect comment streak
[Comment from Cricket]
LEANDER FOR PRESIDENT
[Comment from Dan Gilbert]
That Octopus cowardly betrayed me.
Chris Jones: Cover it Live, I mean.
Jeff Carlisle: Thanks, Statsie.
Chris Jones: By the way, Kipa gets a shout-out in my love blog about Cover it Love, over on soccernet.espn.go.com/worldcup
ESPN Stats and Information: The average TOTAL goals scored in World Cup Third-Place matches is very high at 3.94 goals/match.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I've got rogue commas flying, all over, the place, tonight.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: The art of the cult, is to perform only very briefly and very powerfully, before disappearing.
Chris Jones: Is there any other kind?
[Comment from Paraguay]
Chris isn't invited to Facebook
[Comment from Kipa]
Chris does approve, however, of social eating.
[Comment from Adam]
I'd add stat\sie on FB
JemeleHill: Leander: This is criminal. You've clearly built a cult following. You're disservicing your fanbase.
[Comment from Cam]
Statsie is my hero
Jeff Carlisle: I'm on Twitter, @JeffreyCarlisle.
Chris Jones: I can't bother to socially network in real life, let alone on a computer.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I have no Facebook and no Twitter. Sue me.
JemeleHill: Laura: I'm on Twitter (@jemelehill) and Facebook. Chris disapproves of social networking, and after this Leander MUST have a FB pge. Also Statsie.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: A peace offering to the 'Guays?
Chris Jones: Go Uruguay!
[Comment from Mr. T]
I predict PAIN!
[Comment from Laura]
Do you guys have facebook fan pages or anything so us fans can follow your commentary in the "off season"?
Jeff Carlisle: Perhaps Statsie can tell us the average number of goals in third place games.
[Comment from Hogarius]
Is Miami negotiating with Paul the Octopus?
[Comment from Octopus]
Yummmm....Germany.
[Comment from Landerman]
Uruguay 10 - 0
[Comment from Jurgen]
Germany 3-1
JemeleHill: I see people expect scoring
[Comment from Indiana Man]
Germany 4-3
[Comment from Karl]
germany 4-0
[Comment from uruguay]
Your boss. mine is uruguay 5-1
[Comment from Steven`]
germany 3-0
[Comment from Korea Fan]
U:G 2:3!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Huh, the tactical lineup sheet has Jansen as an advanced left winger. Interesting.
JemeleHill: I don't know if I can go against The Tentacled One
[Comment from mickey b!]
paul picked germany
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I'm making it 4-2 Germany.
[Comment from LeBron]
My prediction I'll lean toward Germany but I'll pick Miami
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I think the point is, Alex, that Maradona's scored a goal whereas Suarez's stopped one. Therefore they are antonyms.
Jeff Carlisle: Hehe.
JemeleHill: Wait, who did the octopus pick?
JemeleHill: I'm going with the 'Guay, 2-1
[Comment from Alex]
I dont see why Suarez's goal would be the hand of satan. Both maradona and Suarez cheated, but Maradona got away with it. They should both be hands of satan.
[Comment from Kipa]
No, see, you have to build it up. Announce you'll hold a chat at 9 p.m., say you'll make a choice in the first 10 minutes, then wait til like 9:45 before you do.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: YOU give us your predictions for this match! Who does this guy think he is... ordering me around...
Jeff Carlisle: Germany, 3-1.
[Comment from uruguay]
guys, give us your predictions for this match
Leander Schaerlaeckens: That didn't even make sense, did it? I returned a compliment with nonsense. Oh, the shame!
JemeleHill: Kipa: No, Craigslist.
[Comment from Kipa]
Oh come on, Jemele. Don't do it on Facebook. Hold a GameCast chat to announce your decision.
JemeleHill: Leander: Thank you?
[Comment from Suarez]
If Maradonna gets a "hand of god" goal, then I have the "hand of satan" defense
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Thank you, Jemele. And you write sabotagically.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Only if you find a proper conjugation of the new verb "mutiny".
JemeleHill: Leander: You do write majestically.
[Comment from mart]
can we mutiny against Jemele? Please?
[Comment from Lebron James]
Leander, be a good subject and silence those naysayers
JemeleHill: That's why if I leave ESPN, I'm going to post it on Facebook first. Totally classy.
[Comment from Lebron James]
Jemele it is ok to let people down. After you have given them so much for so many years! I gave my all in cleveland for 7 years and I left. Now i am the happiest I have ever been in my NBA career.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Now here's one for you, Statsie. What's their record when sitting at least four regulars?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I don't read things, Jemele. I write them.
ESPN Stats and Information: Germany has played in four World Cup Third-Place matches, winning three.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: A well-founded one, I must admit.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Sabotage? There's an accusation!
JemeleHill: Beautiful? Leander, have you been reading Harlequins again?
JemeleHill: Majestic? There's a word.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Except for Forlan, whose beautiful blond locks are flowing in the wind and from the jerk of his head whenever he takes a header.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I must say, the refs look majestic in their perfectly synchronized warm-ups. The players look a little chaotic.
JemeleHill: Did you promise me a foot rub? And I didn't post that batch of LeBron comments. That was probably Leander trying to sabotage me.
[Comment from Leighann]
You're letting me down Jemele. lol
[Comment from Octopus]
Statsie a Very big hand
JemeleHill: Is that you, Dan Gilbert?
[Comment from JP]
Quit it with the lebron comments, he's never gonna be a star
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I don't think we've ever gotten a bigger compliment. We are truly humbled, Tiffany. And we accept gratefully this Nobel Peace Prize.
JemeleHill: Actually, that wasn't me
ESPN Stats and Information: Uruguay is without a win in its last 14 World Cup matches against European opposition, a run that started with a 1-0 defeat to Germany in the Third Place match in 1970.
[Comment from Lebron James]
So is Jemele for posting the King's comment
[Comment from Tiffany]
I'm just watching because the Billiards International Challenge of Champions over on ESPN 2 was just too much suspense
[Comment from Lebron James]
Statsie is welcomed at the King's table
[Comment from Hogarius]
woohoo Statsie!
[Comment from Lebron]
Statsie is pure glory.
Jeff Carlisle: One word. Octopus.
JemeleHill: Why does she think it's rigged?
[Comment from Excited German fan]
My sister thinks this thing is rigged and I am trying to prove her wrong could you at least post this one comment. Also thank you for your hard work. Go Germany
JemeleHill: Don't remind me :(
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Can we get a big hand of applause for Statsie, he will be much missed after this tournament!
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I think he's self-conscious now that he's been caught picking and, erm, consuming from his nose so many times.
ESPN Stats and Information: Four of Diego Forlan's five goals in the World Cup have come from outside the box, with the other from the penalty spot.
Jeff Carlisle: You'd think a guy who has just been offered a new two-year contract wouldn't be so camer shy.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Low stands tries to hide behind the post of his dugout like a cowering puppy in a new home as a horde of photographers tries to snap his mug.
JemeleHill: Leighann: If you throw in a foot rub, done!
[Comment from Leighann]
Jemele: I will cook you dinner AND do the dishes for a month if you stop posting LeBron stuff. Sick, sick, sick of all of it. ugh.
JemeleHill: I'm on the comments
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Scroll down, pal.
[Comment from Matt the Lebron hater]
Can you confirm the starting line-ups? Reports have many out for Germany including Klose, Lahm and Mueller
ESPN Stats and Information: This will be the Uruguayans' third time in the Third-Place match, having already lost to Austria (3-1 in 1954) and Germany (1-0 in 1970).
[Comment from Cleveland Fan]
Does Statsie have a jersey I can burn?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Who's on comments anyway today?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Muhahaha!
[Comment from Hogarius]
Leander, that's pretty cruel to Jemele to encourage 100 messages a minute.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Bo knows hip replacements.
ESPN Stats and Information: Stats Checker, that is using the international style, right to left for the Last 5 Matches.
Jeff Carlisle: Kind of like Bo Jackson.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: She has extra-strength glasses and a new hip, I hear.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: The GameCast will eventually evolve to the point where it runs on its own, like cyborgs, making us, your beloved panelists, obsolete.
JemeleHill: But is she decent from 15 to 18 feet?
[Comment from Go Germany!]
My grandma could play for Miami at this point
JemeleHill: You should have made Artyshax a producer. Can we send him a CIL invite?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: So far, the edge here goes to Germany. As both sides run onto the field for their warm-ups, the Germans look a little more fired up and got a hell of a lot more cheer from the crowd.
Jeff Carlisle: Thanks, Artyshax. My job is done. At least for the next ten minutes.
JemeleHill: I was going to say, is that the Tolstoy posting?
JemeleHill: Leander: Simpson jokes is what I'm here for.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Wow there, I should have clicked on the extend button. That's a long post!
[Comment from Artyshax]
The third place match is a matter of pride as well. Cant understand all those that say it bears no real fight. Its the difference of going home on a winning note as compared to a moral dropping loss. Germany with Klose(14 wc goals), muller(4 goals in wc), ozil and pudolski offer enough to take down a Forlan and Suarez run Uraguan offense. The breaks and counter attacks of the Germans with the their fast and strong players will be hard to overpower. While the CB led with schweinsteiger and Lahm at times would pose a methodical striking force. I predict 3-1 Germany. Consolation Goal for Forlan as he still posses a threat from wide range and free kicks. Im all up for surprises though, so lets just enjoy some amazing football.
[Comment from Dream Team]
LeBron, D-Wade, Bosh, and Statsie would be unstoppable
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Simpsons jokes, Jemele? Really?
JemeleHill: Is Hans related to Seymour?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I don't know, Sebastian, but keep writing things as fast as you can. The way the system works is it automatically publishes if you reach 100 comments per minute.
ESPN Stats and Information: Hans-Jörg Butt will start in net for Germany today for the first time in his career and will win his first cap since 2003 against Canada.
JemeleHill: Hopefully, not to South Beach
[Comment from Stats]
Stats will takes Stats talents where Stats likes
[Comment from Sebastian]
WHY WONT MY COMMENTS WORK!?!
[Comment from Leighann]
We all know Statsie is a Unicorn....what else do we need to know? :)
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Sorry. Either way, enough of that. Let's get to some of your mail.
JemeleHill: You are using too many big words, Leander.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I fear not.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: And would we have the ideological astuteness and purity to retain, Statsie if our merits were measured against that of others.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: But comments such as that one you can't possibly put a price on.
ESPN Stats and Information: European and South American sides have each won three World Cup Third-Place matches.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: We would risk invasion, or even a bidding war for Statsie's services.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Other countries would want what we have.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: For national security's sake.
[Comment from Ani]
Just woke up :-) have soccernet on my bookmark..just a click and a warm welcome :D Good afternoon!!!
JemeleHill: Leander, I think we must always keep it a secret.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: One day his (or her) identity shall be revealed, but not just yet. The world isn't ready.
JemeleHill: That may have been the most positive thing Statsie has ever said
Jeff Carlisle: Thank goodness for small favors, Statsie.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Statsie!
ESPN Stats and Information: No World Cup Third-Place match has ever gone to penalty kicks.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Jemele is here! Let's see who else comes rolling (in the case of Jones, literally) out of the cyberbushes and into this GameCast.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: You should know, dear readers, that Jeff gives the world's best hugs. I get one whenever I can. There's nothing effeminate about it, Jeff and I are so masculine that we transcend all that.
JemeleHill: Hello world!
Jeff Carlisle: I'm there for you, man.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: It reassures me that you'll be able to give me an e-cuddle if I'm feeling sad or blue, Jeff. It really does.
Jeff Carlisle: Greetings everyone. Leander is alone in PE, but clearly, not in cyberspace.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: I am indeed, John. I'll be getting on an early flight to Johannesburg in the morning and heading straight to the final, which I was lucky enough to get credentialed for. All of that for you, the reader.
[Comment from John]
Are you doing tomorrow's final Leander?
[Comment from Doctor]
I am here already, Leander! I might be the first one here.
[Comment from MIKE]
GOOD EVENING
[Comment from Lauren]
Great! Excited for the game!
[Comment from Kipa]
I'm fine this afternoon, thanks.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Before you answer, let me tell you that I'm at Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium in lovely seaside Port Elizabeth for tonight's second-to-last World Cup between Germany and Uruguay to crown the third-best team in the world.
Leander Schaerlaeckens: How are we all this fine, evening?
Leander Schaerlaeckens: Good afternoon, everybody!