June 11, 2002
By by Jeff Bradley
My wife is leaving me.

Okay, I lied. But at 7 o'clock this morning, Linda was pretty horrified when she woke up and found me sprawled out on the love seat in front of the televsion, an empty box of Chips Ahoys and a crusty glass of milk at my side. She looked at me in my boxers and black socks, with my three-day beard and greasy hair and said, "You're a fine example to your sons." But that's not what horrified her. My response is what did that.

"Thanks," I said, pointing ...

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