Served up with a healthy side salad of what we can only presume self-congratulatory marketing dimwits refer to as "relevant youth marketing strategy" comes the news that Jose Mourinho now has his very own children's cartoon and trading card game tie-in.
Produced by Sports Stars Media, "Mourinho and The Special Ones" is due to air for the first time on a Portugal children's television channel, SIC K, at the end of this month, with the card game, mobile app and social media add-ons due to go nuclear shortly thereafter.
In short, it's the kind of "unique, augmented multilayered brand concept" that kids go crazy for!
The cartoon features Mourinho's image, though sadly the man himself doesn't provide the voice acting, which is instead provided by a half-cut Russian submarine captain. The likeness is uncanny.
The storyline is as follows (taken from the SSM website)...
"The opportunity of a lifetime comes by when you least expect it and for Alex and his friends, a chance meeting with their hero, changes their lives forever. What was supposed to be a simple football match attracted the attention of the world's greatest football coach. The Special One himself, Jose Mourinho.
"Mourinho is so impressed with Alex and his friends that he decides to help them follow their dream while also settling a few old scores with his longtime nemesis, Viktor Von Haii, the owner of the Junior Sharks football team.
"Alex and his team mates have been given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. But do they have what it takes to be the best and realise their potential to become... The Special Ones."
We wonder if this evil nemesis character has a fleeting resemblance to a certain former Barcelona coach? Never fear, though, as Mou will easily be able to thwart him by unleashing his special attack: the Stealth Thumb Gouge.